Ruling

If a person asks permission from someone and he replies in the negative that he cannot meet at that time, then the caller should go back and not feel offended. He should realize that every one's needs and circumstances are different, and at times it is beyond the control of persons to call in the visitor or to go out and meet him. Hence, his refusal to meet should be accepted with good grace. In the present verse the same thing is emphasized وَإِن قِيلَ لَكُمُ ارْ‌جِعُوا فَارْ‌جِعُوا هُوَ أَزْكَىٰ لَكُمْ that is, ` If it is said to you, "Go back" just go back, it is more decent for you - 24:28. Some people of the past ages are reported to have said ` I waited all my life wishing that I visit someone and seek permission to go in the house, and the host turns down my request asking me to go back so that I could be rewarded the grace of this Qur’ anic injunction by following it. But, alas, I could never get that blessing'.

Ruling

The Islamic jurisprudence has established a two-sided system of teaching the mannerism of social graces and of saving all from the troubles and inconvenience. The way visitors are advised in this verse that if their request for permission to go in is turned down, they should not feel offended, similarly, the other side of the coin is taught in a Hadith. The Holy Prophet ﷺ has said انّ لزورک علیک حقّا . (Surely your visitors have some rights to be observed by you). It means that one who comes to meet you he too has his right on you. His right is that you should call him in, pay him respect and listen to him. Do not refuse to meet him without any serious excuse or a genuine reason.'

Ruling

If one goes to meet someone and seeks permission to go in, but does not get an answer, then according to practice of the Holy Prophet ﷺ ، he should knock a second time, and still if there is no answer then he should knock a third time. If he does not get an answer the third time, then the injunction is, that he should go back. After knocking three times it becomes obvious that the inmate must have heard the knock, but presumably he is in a condition that he cannot answer, for instance, praying or in the toilet or taking shower. Alternatively, he does not want to meet at that time. In both the situations it is not advisable to keep on staying there or keep on knocking, as it will upset the host, which must be avoided. The real purpose of isti'dhan is to avoid any inconvenience to the host.

Sayyidna Abu Musa Ash` ari ؓ has narrated that once the Holy Prophet ﷺ said that اذا استأذن احدکم ثلاثاً فلم یؤذن لہ فلیرجع that is, ` when someone seeks permission three times and does not get reply, he should go back' (Ibn Kathir quoting Sahih of Bukhari). And Masnad Ahmad has reported on authority of Sayyidna Anas ؓ that once the Holy Prophet ﷺ had gone to meet Sayyidna Sa'd Ibn ` Ubadah ؓ ، and said Assalamu ` Alaikum (السلام علیکم ) from outside to seek permission (Isti'dhan) to go in, according to his practice. Sayyidna Sa'd ؓ did reply the greeting but in a soft tone, so that the Holy Prophet ﷺ does not hear. He repeated the greeting a second time and then a third time. On each occasion Sayyidna Sa'd ؓ listened the greeting and replied in a soft tone. After that the Holy Prophet ﷺ went back. When Sayyidna Sa'd ؓ realized that, he ran after him and explained that he heard his voice every time and also replied but in a soft tone, so that the greeting words are spoken for him repeatedly by the blessed tongue, as they will bring good fortune to him. (the Holy Prophet ﷺ explained to him the way of sunnah that when there is no response from inside, the visitor should go back) After that Sayyidna Sa'd رضی اللہ تعالیٰ عنہ took the Holy Prophet ﷺ along with him to his house where he treated him with some refreshments, which the Holy Prophet ﷺ accepted graciously.

This action of Sayyidna Sa'd ؓ was the result of overwhelming love and affection for the Holy Prophet ﷺ ، and at that moment he did not realize that the most exalted Messenger was waiting at his door and he should immediately go out and receive him with due respect. Instead, his mind was induced toward the thought that it would be of benefit to him if the blessed tongue would utter Assalamu ` Alaikum repeatedly. In any case this incident has established the issue that if there is no answer after seeking permission thrice, then according to practice of the Prophet ﷺ ، the visitor should go back. It is against the sunnah of the Holy Prophet ﷺ to keep on waiting there, which will be a cause of trouble for the inmate and tantamount to forcing the host to come out.

Ruling

The foregoing ruling relates to the situation when one has sought permission thrice by knocking and greetings. In that situation to keep on waiting there would cause trouble to the host. But if someone waits at the door of a scholar or a pious person without seeking permission or without informing him, in the hope that he would meet him when he would come out according to his convenience, such a waiting is not undesirable, rather it is a great respect shown by the caller. The Qur'an itself has advised people that to call the Holy Prophet ﷺ while he is inside, with the purpose of calling him out of the house is disrespect to him. People should wait for him outside until he comes out on his own according to his convenience. The related verse says وَلَوْ أَنَّهُمْ صَبَرُ‌وا حَتَّىٰ تَخْرُ‌جَ إِلَيْهِمْ لَكَانَ خَيْرً‌ا لَّهُمْ (And if they had patience until you come out to them, that would be better for them - 49:5). Sayyidna Ibn ` Abbas ؓ has said, ` Sometimes I keep on waiting the whole afternoon at the door of an Ansari companion until he would come out on his own, for asking about some Ahadith . Had I sought permission to go in, he would have definitely allowed me, but I regarded that against ethics. That is why I used to bear the trouble of waiting'. (Sahih a1-Bukhari).